The Good Guy Doesn’t Always Finish Last: The Kind Leader Can Succeed
Many years ago, a student was having trouble completing her schoolwork at Delaware County Community College (DCCC) without being able to afford a computer at home. One night, there was a knock at her family home. The president of the college arrives with a computer and helps set it up for her. He overheard about the situation from his secretaries and happened to have one his kids weren’t using anymore.
That’s one of many small, yet impactful acts of kindnesses that the leader did, who just so happened to be my dad. When the students left that building, he wanted them to walk away with the skills that hiring local businesses want and jobs waiting. He wanted education to be a true investment in their future prospects.
Over the course of his 40 years at DCCC, he created jobs, built around the needs of the people, spoke to companies to drive direct employment, opened up opportunities, listened and led with kindness with an open-door policy. The school went from one campus to several, and constantly evolving to serve the people. When you lead with others in mind and bring people into the fold, there’s a greater chance for success and commitment to the cause. As a father, he was incredibly present and described by a family friend as immediately feeling like home around him.
The current state of leadership and those in power is unnerving. Compassion, ethics, and hard work aren’t being lauded or elevated as it should. The brash boss who plays fast and loose, fails upwards as a rule, not an exception.
When I hear of an injustice, I get incredibly fired up. I definitely got it from my parents. My mom is no slouch in the community either. The two of them received the YMCA community leadership award, honoring my parents for their lifetime of giving and dedication to the community. Both of them were heavily involved in the well-being and supporting the homeless community. From a young age of eight years old, I was there helping at the shelter, hosted at our church. We knew how privileged we were and made us appreciate that. These folks fell on hard times and were not as lucky. I bonded with one man in particular over games of cards with the guests. We were both March babies, so I wanted to spend my birthday with Robert, who happened to be the biggest black teddy bear there. Then I asked him to come for Thanksgiving. My parents had to put their money where their mouth was. They quickly agreed and picked him up to join our family. My dad helped get a pro-bono lawyer along with our family friend Claire (who recently passed away) and went to the courthouse to help get these ridiculous charges waived while he was trying to make money recycling scrap metal. Having a man with his stature and white by his side, made a huge difference, since the system will keep you if you don’t have the means to get out, and ruin your chances of any employment and housing (aside from running for US President). The charges were finally lifted! It taught me a great many things looking up to someone who took action. Robert basically became a part of our family and lived with us for a few weeks till he got a place. There are plenty of other stories but that one has left the most profound impression on me.
In 2017, he was inducted into Chester County Business Hall of Fame - another county, which was quite an achievement. That same spring he was preparing to retire. After 40 years with DCCC and his last 15 as the president, the parting gift was to name a building after him that he helped build on campus The Advanced Technology Center, since he felt the technical students should be on campus, walking among the other college students. While he cut the ribbon, we all knew he had a terminal brain tumor. It was one of those moments that made your heart burst with pride but fearful of the future without him.
He passed away just before Thanksgiving on November 20, 2018 after a hard battle with brain cancer (tribute in Delco Times). On the day of my dad’s funeral, hundreds of people lined up to pay their respects. As they reached us in the line, they would tell us stories about his incredible empathy, empowering them personally, and many many tears.
It was so overwhelming and a lovely way to remember him. I only wished we had time to meet everyone who came. Many stayed behind for the reception, since they wanted to savor his memories a little while longer and so did we.
Humility is the word that is consistently used to describe him. While it’s been six years, people at the college still miss him. Many have written to us since or stayed in touch. One person wrote to my mom that my dad was the college’s North Star. It’s not every day that a boss is remembered in such a way. He knew everyone there from the cafeteria staff to students, administrative to professors.
At this moment, it felt very important to share these memories of a kind leader, and remind people to look to humanity. You can still get ahead by thinking of others. My dad was able to reach across the aisle and countless people truly respected my father.
I implore everyone to think about the future they want to be part of. He was in a unique position to make a big impact, yet he did it humbly and as he worked his way up.
No act of kindness is too small. Thank you for reading and rest in peace, dad.
